His Self Worth
by Alzbeta Batoriova
Summary: Can Mukara forgive himself for the pain he caused to his beloved? Post Kikoutei Densetsu AKA Legend of the Inferno OVA.


"His Self Worth"  
By: Seinasu  
Disclaimer: _Yoroiden-Samurai Troopers_ is copyright © Sunrise.

* * *

Taiyou no Mukara tried to hate himself. The memories of the Kuroi Kikoutei festered like a plague in his mind. The false god manipulated his mind, body, and soul. It used his status as a warrior to almost achieve its goal of annihilating humanity. He had been nothing more than a puppet.

He felt Naria's eyes upon him. Turning away from the crescent moon, he discovered his fiancée standing by the entrance of her home. She appeared worried as she approached him, arms folded across her chest. Her movements were as graceful as a gazelle's. Each step she took was simply flawless.

He didn't deserve such an understanding, loving soul. As the bearer of the Kuroi Kikoutei, he had cast his beloved priestess aside. He ignored her warnings and pleas. She'd been the only one, besides the foreign warriors, who knew of the real threat. But he didn't care. The power he gained through the Kikoutei was unbelievable... but of course, it came at a price. He'd lost his humanity and ultimately, he lost HER.

He was so involved in trying to crush the Shiroi Kikoutei that he didn't notice his fiancée trying to literally reach out to him. The sheer impact of the two Kikoutei killed her--a horrid memory that refused to leave his mind. Every time he looked into her eyes or even took a mere glance at her, it made his heart wretch.

"Mukara..."

Naria's slender fingers brushed against his elbow. He lowered his head and saw her standing next to him with her arm wrapped around his waist. He slowly, almost cautiously, placed his arm around her thin waist but didn't pull her close. It felt so awkward; it was like two strangers being forced to embrace.

"It's okay," the priestess said as she reached up with her free hand and cupped the side of the warrior's hardened face. Their eyes gazes locked.

He recalled the moment their eyes met when she was brought back to life by the remnants of the armor gears' powers. There were tears in her eyes--tears of joy. She was happy to have the REAL Mukara back in her life. He reached out to her and she didn't flinch. She wasn't disgusted even after all he'd done to her.

Yet the acceptance bothered him. He tried to forget the fact that he allowed a suit of armor to manipulate him and abuse his powers, and to forget about those who really cared about him...

He wanted her to be upset with him. He could've handled her yelling at him or giving him the silent treatment. The rest of the villagers moved on from the ordeal; even his own mother and father resumed their normal activities, as if nothing ever happened. The memory of the Kikoutei vanished from their minds, all except for the key players involved. But could he handle his situation any better if Naria's memory of the Kikoutei had been erased? Could he live day to day knowing how much he'd hurt her, only to have her know nothing about it?

He simply couldn't handle how FORGIVING she was. She loved him so much that she was willing to forgive the terrible wrongs he did to her and to others.

The foreign warriors helped him when they could've easily destroyed him. They helped guide him back to his human compassion from the darkness of the Kikoutei. He was still human and was still capable of feeling love. It was the love he lost that opened the path to his freedom.

He learned of their struggles with their armor gears. They were able to use the armors without completely corrupting their souls. Their humanities kept them from becoming stained with bloodlust.

* * *

_"Why don't you hate me?" he asked her shortly after the warriors returned to Japan. _

She smiled up at him. "Because I love you," she simply replied. Then without even blinking an eye she asked him, "Why do you stay?"

"Why... do I stay?" What a ridiculous question—he was a warrior for the Tauragi Tribe. He couldn't abandon the people his family protected for countless generations. It was his duty to stay... but it was important he stayed because of HER. She had faith in him; true faith that went beyond worshipping the Kikoutei as the villagers had. They followed him only because he wore the armor god. She followed him because she loved him and she wanted to set him free.

He stayed because he loved her.

She placed a finger upon his lips and smiled even further. She knew what he was thinking, so she didn't need his answer. She simply knew.

* * *

He couldn't sleep.

Whenever he closed his eyes, he saw Naria lying lifeless in a pool of blood. He'd lift his hands and see his palms splattered with crimson liquid.

Mukara knew he had to leave... but not before being confronted by Naria.

She discovered him just outside of the secret entrance to their mystical village. He saw her standing beside a small river that quietly babbled to the sounds of birds singing within the forest. Her back was facing him but he knew well that she was watching him.

"Why are you leaving?" she asked as she slowly turned and faced him, arms folded across her chest. There was a slight crease of worry upon her forehead. "There are no more battles to fight."

He adjusted the giant black boomerang he carried over his shoulders and he approached her.

"I have to prove to myself that I can fight without the influence of that armor," he said as he stood before her. He was calm in his overall appearance. It was a decision he made and was going to stick with. He needed to fight because he needed to know that he could battle and still maintain his humanity. If those warriors could do it, so could he.

"I know you can!" Naria exclaimed as she took a hold of his hand and place it over her chest, where her heart resided. "You don't need to prove it to anybody! You know you're human and that you're capable of loving!"

Mukara shook his head. "I still can't forgive myself for what happened... Until I can, I need to leave."

"No..."

She pulled herself forward and rested her forehead against his bare chest. "It's okay... I told you I forgive you... Mukara...!"

She lifted her head with tears in her eyes and whispered, "I love you."

He closed his eyes and very carefully drew himself away from the blue haired priestess. He walked right past her, just the way he did when he first dragged the ones called Rekka no Ryo and Korin no Seiji after his victory.

"Mukara!"

This time, however, he stopped at the sound of her voice. Turning around, he saw her standing helplessly; though in her defense she tried so hard not to fall apart. Perhaps it was after everything they went through, she was afraid of losing him again.

This time, however, he was leaving on his own will.

"I will return to you," Mukara vowed, offering her a sad smile. "I can't give you what you need until I can prove to myself that I can hold true to my humanity."

She remained silent. So he pressed on uncharacteristically: "Africa is war torn. Beyond our ancient, enchanted village there are wars going on in practically every country. I want to help protect those in need. Maybe then will I... I will be able to love myself before I can truly love you."

He trailed off. The sheer look of forlorn upon Naria's face made him momentarily hesitate on his decision. She said she loved him, so wasn't that enough? But the memories of his ignorance through the Kikoutei quickly placed his decision back on track. He would never again be led astray from his path as a compassionate, human warrior. He would become a warrior guided by the love in his heart for others and most important, he would fight for Naria honor.

Naria sighed softly. Her expression changed from sadness to slight contentment. Her glossy green eyes softened as she walked over to Mukara. As she stood before him, she cupped his face in her hands and leaning forward on tip-toes, she kissed him softly on the lips.

"Find your place as a warrior and I will be waiting for you," she promised him as she slid away. She threw him one last glance over her shoulder before she calmly walked through the giant tree that acted as the magical gateway to their homeland.

Mukara stood in silence for a few moments. He lifted a hand and placed the tips of his fingers over his lips where she had kissed him. They still felt warm; her lips tasted sweet...

He wanted to taste those lips again. But in order to do that, he needed to reclaim his status as a true warrior. He didn't need to fear for the village's safety, as there were other warriors capable of defending it if needed.

The war with the armors was over, but the war for peace was never ending.

The Samurai Troopers' fighting days may be over, but Taiyou no Mukara's battles were just beginning.

* * *

_"The greatest success is successful self-acceptance."_  
- Ben Sweet

* * *

THE END


End file.
